A sick bout and a close shave

Had a heavy lunch of katsu don and didn’t feel good around 4pm. Could not pinpoint the cause though a few suspects could be the culprit:
1. Oily food
2. Contaminated water from my bottle
3. The crazy heat
4. Infectious virus from random stranger at the airport

Puked like 4 times in office and left an hour early from office. Drove back with a plastic bag next to me.

On way home, as I was turning right with the green man and arrow in my favour. On the other side, another car went straight. Had I turned a little later, he might have hit me.

I turned to glare at the driver and saw him chatting on his phone with an ear piece. He was a lone car who stopped after passing the line.

What an idiot which could almost cause me my life ! Such dangerous behaviour should not be tolerated. It’s a pretty small road and probably there is no red light cameras. I hope it will be a lesson learnt for him and not be on the phone next time when he has such concentration lapses.

Feeling much better physically after a 3-hour nap and should be getting some congee to soothe the acidic stomach. Still feeling down emotionally and I am sure it won’t go away for a while. Shall continue to strive to make a difference to me and my world. I can also do so much and hypnotize myself that this is just a phase. What others feel or choose to treat me is beyond my control.

Soldier on!

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A weekly photo challenge

Was pretty bored with all the surfing (and snooping) and chanced upon a few blogs that I had actually followed much earlier on WordPress.

Refer to the 3 photos challenge that I am responding to. These photos were taken last year when I went to Japan. It was at the tsukiji fish market in tokyo which I heard, will be moved subsequently to another bigger location.

Below are my photos of
I. An establishing Shot
II. An interaction
IIi. Detail

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Cold heart

I had been crying for the past hour. I am feeling very sad, down and sorry for myself. I keep telling myself that I don’t deserves to be treated like this and all this will be well once she stopped feeling angry.

The email from her to demand the car keys left me shattered. The decision she made to stay in her mother’s house and not returning the car to my father became my demand for the car. What a warped way of thinking and now blaming me for it ?!

Coming back for vacation and avoiding me totally. What am I to you ? The housekeeper ? The idiot whom had stood by you for this entire decade is now reduced to a weeping crap. How many times must all these repeat?

Did you ever put yourself in my shoes? Since when did you last care for me? Or even know what I do ? Precisely I voiced out the last time about your demands and requests are revelations of how I had felt. Yet it became such a stinker and now you are outwardly stating your demands of me. Ironic right?!

So what if I don’t agree? What will you do ? Stop using money as a consolation because you never did live up to all these promises. Because you are just selfish and just taking sheer advantage of me. Forever debtor is such a big word and yet ‘I ll just pay you back’ is used for the umpteen time. Never seen a dime since march 2012 or 2013 even. Boy, am I surprised ?!

I can’t even tell if you get an email notification to this blog. Maybe I had set it so earlier. I ll just get slammed again.

So much for missing her and bouts of crying. She just hates me. Anniversary my foot. How I wish I could sleep and never wake up again.

This sorrow is killing me.
The streams of silent tears is tearing my heart apart.
Like a wretched rag doll tossed out in the cold streets.
Broken and Discarded.

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A leisure afternoon

A leisure afternoon with mom spent in our newest heartland mall. Just mindless chatter and idle shopping without stress.

Bumping into an old lady in a wheelchair reminds us both of gramps. I was trying so hard to stifle my emotions that I dare not take another look. Coincidentally, an acquaintance’s gramps just passed away and I tear at typing the condolence message. Ah ma! I miss you so much and wish we had more time together. Trying to make up to my parents what I had missed over the past decade while staying out with bb.

Mum remarked that bb is cold in her replies. I could only give the excuse that she is busy rather than risk letting her know that we are at cold war. It has been three months since and I wish bb could befriend me again. Every single hour I thought of her and miss her so much. The thought of being shut out sometimes drive me raving mad and yet I know I can’t do a thing about it.

Wish I could bring her to Tiffany and co and choose our anniversary ring together. Bb… I love u !!!

Vday scolding

I m very sad. I just got chided for treating her workplace like a playground. When feelings fade, such surprises became unwelcome and deemed as disturbance.

On a day that lovers celebrate their love. Mine treated me coldly with a callous heart. So much for being such a hopeless romantic. I could still remember the time that you sent me flowers even when I was still in the club and once when I was in current office. I was so happy. It brought instant tears in office, on the way home and even now while typing this.

How long do you want to treat me so badly? Go ask around, how many pple will make time specially for their loved ones and I was still thinking to start collating the photos for our anniversary in next month. I can’t even bring myself to thank the bakery for going the extra mile. Because I am not even sure she got the items. Sobs.. No one cares…beneath the crazy exterior, lies a broken hearted wretched doll. One that no one sees and no one loves. At all. Or at least. Anymore.

Vday surprise !

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After much hunting over the past two nights for the wonderful flower / chocolate bouquet for my bb. I chanced upon this cupcake shop and a phone call immediately confirmed their willingness to deliver !

I am struck at their readiness and the lack of suspicion for fraud. Lets hope the items taste as good as it looks and I need to ensure payment is effected. Can’t cause any trouble to bb. She ll kill me.. And hope she will like it… Pray pray pray !!! Bo bi please !!!

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