Cold heart

I had been crying for the past hour. I am feeling very sad, down and sorry for myself. I keep telling myself that I don’t deserves to be treated like this and all this will be well once she stopped feeling angry.

The email from her to demand the car keys left me shattered. The decision she made to stay in her mother’s house and not returning the car to my father became my demand for the car. What a warped way of thinking and now blaming me for it ?!

Coming back for vacation and avoiding me totally. What am I to you ? The housekeeper ? The idiot whom had stood by you for this entire decade is now reduced to a weeping crap. How many times must all these repeat?

Did you ever put yourself in my shoes? Since when did you last care for me? Or even know what I do ? Precisely I voiced out the last time about your demands and requests are revelations of how I had felt. Yet it became such a stinker and now you are outwardly stating your demands of me. Ironic right?!

So what if I don’t agree? What will you do ? Stop using money as a consolation because you never did live up to all these promises. Because you are just selfish and just taking sheer advantage of me. Forever debtor is such a big word and yet ‘I ll just pay you back’ is used for the umpteen time. Never seen a dime since march 2012 or 2013 even. Boy, am I surprised ?!

I can’t even tell if you get an email notification to this blog. Maybe I had set it so earlier. I ll just get slammed again.

So much for missing her and bouts of crying. She just hates me. Anniversary my foot. How I wish I could sleep and never wake up again.

This sorrow is killing me.
The streams of silent tears is tearing my heart apart.
Like a wretched rag doll tossed out in the cold streets.
Broken and Discarded.

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