I am an ATM. Only for withdrawing money. Never depositing. Forever debiting. Besides debiting money, debit my emotions as well. My heart is broken, torn, tattered and will soon be dead.
Despite all that you had done, I thought of you often. Of our happier moments. I kept reminding myself – this too shall pass. I will not look back and I will be deserving loved. But as I got your email, I am now engulfed in tears and sadness.
Why things come to such ? Why you never learn ? I am sure you will blame me again. For cursing your relatives dead which led to your displeasure and then to this Philippines trip. Am I the trigger point? Think again. If you think deeper to my outburst, which is actually a call for attention. I need to beg for attention because it is no longer a given. You would much rather spend your time with others than me. Yet I still hanker after that tiny bit of attention.
Everything mistake I make gets magnified and all that I do are your bestowed privileges. I must be farking blind to be treated so badly for so long and still believing you love me. You don’t. You only love yourself. If you love me, you won’t treat me like that. But I love you still. I love you so much that I lost myself.
Time after time, u get into trouble. When will you ever learn? Just because I never ask for the money to be returned, it’s taken for granted.
The whole wide world is at fault. It’s not. You just took the easy route to blame the world. You will never be satisfied. Never.
I will still help you. Maybe this final time. I had enough. Stop adding to my pain. I need to walk away.
ATM is out of order. Please find another bank.