Judgement day

Tomorrow’s critical. It ll affect her life forever. I offered to stay this time but she rejected me. Well, that was the least I could do.

I was quite taken aback about the mitigation. I did remember her saying but not about me taking the stand. Maybe she was not clear and I never ask enough.

I was feeling a tad guilty for not asking her regarding tomorrow when she rather burrow in self-pity.

I was pissed when she repeatedly said that we had not have a decent conversation in years. Why does others have no problems communicating with me ? How much does it take to open your mouth to share your thoughts? You chose to shut me out and you lack the cognitive ability as well as general knowledge to engage in a meaningful conversation. So stop pointing the gun barrel at me for every single insecurity of yours or fault that you find in our relationship.

Be thankful that I stayed long enough with your antics which absolutely have NOTHING to do with fate /destiny that your stupid stepmother pointed out to you. It’s just an uneducated (as well as misguided) way of assigning blame.

Heading to dreamland and can’t wait for it to be finally over. My friends are praying for you and please be appreciative of this indirect sympathy. They love me loads and I am grateful for their support.

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Feeling down

Feeling really down for being rejected today. It’s really personal. Can’t invest so much on a good person, then so be it.

If I can’t be expected to learn more, then I shalt from henceforth do less. Capability is stunted for further development! I should only study hard.

Crap CEO. World class my sorry ass!

A peaceful day

I thought that after last night’s rampage, she ll continue to stay angry. I am surprised that she acted like nothing happened and asked me to get her food instead. Is it a reflection of her needy nature or she is just bidding for time?

I was afraid that she would be impatient when we had to wait for the table. However, she turned out to be calm and patient.

It was a pretty nice dinner as I listened to her tales of office and travel. We had so many photos taken of each other. ☺️

When she accepted my hug at the door, I felt love at that moment. 😘
Looking forward to our cycling date tomorrow.

Will you stay for the night?

I was quite firm in dropping her and going home. She invited me for a massage. Then she asked if I could stay for the night, citing she would like some company as she is feeling really down.

I said I didn’t have my stuff and I could return to collect. She rather I not travel the distance. I did try to hold her abit in my sleep. It has been ages since we hugged each other.

That was a moment last night when I felt our arms around each other which was a momentarily sheer bliss. Something that was missing in our relationship for a long while. I know that it is not about me but her preference to stay away. I hope she truly appreciates me this time and stop all her stupid antics.

I am still half-hearted about leaving her. I am not sure how long it ll be, before she gets into trouble again. I am not sure how long it ll be, before she throws all these hissy fits at me.

I don’t know. I really don’t know.

Maybe maybe.

Again

I reckoned we had gone through the following routine many times.

1. Whenever we are out and you are unhappy over my remark, you would asked to be sent home.

2. I had to go pay for the item.

3. You are emo whenever you feel broke and can’t afford something.

4. You tell me about your happier times without me or spending lavishly on others.

5. You talking nicely to me about the things that happened to me in the months that you do not want to communicate with me.

I know I should have gone cycling on my own instead. I think you wish you did not ask me instead. What is the point of being together anymore ? Are we even deemed still a couple?

It pained me to see you looking so thin and wan. I really feel like holding you in my arms and tell you that I will settle everything for you. But this sounds all too familiar ! Time and time you get into the same trouble and yet you adamantly refused to admit you had a compulsive gambling problem.

But it irks me when the boastful nature rears it’s ugly head. You jus lost 4 massage chairs in Philippines. It is all your own doing. When you are enjoying your happier times, did you think of the girl who is sleeping on tear-soaked pillows and taking the train.

I have made up my mind. I will not be manipulated again. A decade of guilt tripping is enough. Never again.

Thank you for opening the platinum account

Thank you for your interests in applying online for an account for phone betting yesterday.

You are so smart to list my telephone number and didn’t think for a second that they would contact me?

This is it.

It affirms once again that you are an incorrigible gambler. Once again chasing after the losses and dreaming of the elusive wins. Never thinking of how you cannot afford to lose, even that single dollar.

I am very tired of all these. Stop telling me that you are going bersek. All these are consequences of your own doings. I am sure part of you blames me, that I made you stay away for lunar new year and then be introduced to Philippines. You will never think of me, when I cried for hours at night and cleaned the house in tears.

I still don’t understand what you mean by keeping the single bed empty for you. Do you still think I would want to stay with you while living in separate rooms? I guess I had enough.

I will still do some cleaning and putting the bed sheets but I won’t stay over. I will only appear on wed to pick you. I hath my life to lead and you chose not to be part of it. I had given you so many chances that I lost count.

Adieu. Good luck with the bets.

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