Hurt again

You always think the worst of me. You never did care for me or love me anymore. Maybe it’s just timely as well. To rid of this toxic poison in my life. Someone who chose not to see any good in me anymore is just not worth my time anymore.

Continue hurting me and make me cry. I am almost at this point.

Till then, till when.
Till soon, it shalt be.
Till never, I shalt just leave.

Another sad night.

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Que sera sera – whatever will be will be

I dunno if We should have the conversation tomorrow. It is just make or break – actually deep down, I guess it’s about me needing to face up to reality. She no longer loves me.

Eventhough I am really glad that she asked about my well being early this morning, I don’t know how long this will last. How much it ll take before she will succumb to temptation, boredom and over spending again. I am really quite tired.

Till then. Whatever shall be shall be. The future is for us to seek.. Que sera sera… What will be will be.

1 sep 2014

One of the most devastating days of my love life with her. My heart palpitated when I saw those message exchanges. I thought I could rein it in, I couldn’t. I was left broken. Tears can’t stop and it’s a very bleak week.

I still had many unanswered doubts and I want her to clarify it. I don’t know if I can still believe her. The trust is indeed lost, perhaps it was lost for quite some time. Yet, when the cold hard cruel truth of infidelity hits, bam! I went out in a bang !!!

I thought I can’t face her anymore. Today she started off cold and distant again and I did feel sad for myself again. Why did she treat me like this again? Luckily she open up and I realized I still love her a lot. Perhaps she was sick.

I am going to set her two tests on Sunday. First of the photos and second of the lure. If she passes both, I ll give her a second chance. If she does not, then probably it’s better that we break up. Not sure if she is a step ahead in anticipating my move by deleting those incriminating photos. Sometimes she can be not so bright, sometimes she can be so conniving. Let’s see!

I am really hurt and this black profile is indeed reflective of my lousy mood. I read many articles on it and I am searching for songs to relate to. I used to pride myself on this but guess, I was dead wrong.

I must not be victimized into self-blame. Once again, it’s a poor judgement and it’s not MINE. Ultimately, it ll be her loss and NOT MINE. Stay sombre and don’t be taken in. Just read back those hurting print screens and I ll be strong again. I know I deserve better and I will not let myself and people who love me down. It’s you whom had let me down umpteen times. It’s always about you, isn’t it. Let it probably be, for the last and final time.

Sincerely, scarred by you.

An eventful 12 hours

I hesitated and was glad I went. Though I didn’t achieve my objective, I broadened my horizons and affirmed my beliefs that I could do a lot better than moping in the closet with a tear-stained face.

A giggly lunch, dessert and takeaway where it’s fun and enjoyable. Those moments that you relished with an old fren whom understands you and 陪你疯!

Bb would probably hit the roof if she knew what I was up to. But then again. What are we ? I was sincere in bringing her to Taiwan. Missing our lovey dovey moments in Paris. Holding my bag, hugging at effiel tower, taking selfies on the beaute Moche and lovely dinners.

Everyday I am in two hearts. Fixed and growth. Very cognitively disassociated indeed.

Bye August and Sunday. Hello September !