1 sep 2014

One of the most devastating days of my love life with her. My heart palpitated when I saw those message exchanges. I thought I could rein it in, I couldn’t. I was left broken. Tears can’t stop and it’s a very bleak week.

I still had many unanswered doubts and I want her to clarify it. I don’t know if I can still believe her. The trust is indeed lost, perhaps it was lost for quite some time. Yet, when the cold hard cruel truth of infidelity hits, bam! I went out in a bang !!!

I thought I can’t face her anymore. Today she started off cold and distant again and I did feel sad for myself again. Why did she treat me like this again? Luckily she open up and I realized I still love her a lot. Perhaps she was sick.

I am going to set her two tests on Sunday. First of the photos and second of the lure. If she passes both, I ll give her a second chance. If she does not, then probably it’s better that we break up. Not sure if she is a step ahead in anticipating my move by deleting those incriminating photos. Sometimes she can be not so bright, sometimes she can be so conniving. Let’s see!

I am really hurt and this black profile is indeed reflective of my lousy mood. I read many articles on it and I am searching for songs to relate to. I used to pride myself on this but guess, I was dead wrong.

I must not be victimized into self-blame. Once again, it’s a poor judgement and it’s not MINE. Ultimately, it ll be her loss and NOT MINE. Stay sombre and don’t be taken in. Just read back those hurting print screens and I ll be strong again. I know I deserve better and I will not let myself and people who love me down. It’s you whom had let me down umpteen times. It’s always about you, isn’t it. Let it probably be, for the last and final time.

Sincerely, scarred by you.

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