Forgive but never forget

The day started well with her coming to join me in running wedding errands for my sister. We had a nice steak dinner together at our workplace. However disaster struck when she started playing the song and wanted me to try on the bangle.

She wanted me to try on a bangle that she owned and I refused because it might be a love token between her and the OW. I replied with a very harsh no twice and cited that I had my pandora bangle which she has given me before.

She then flew into a rage and start telling me off. That I should not use any of her jewelry or watches and she will never touch anything that belonged to me. She went on to say that she knew what I was unhappy about and said i should leave if I cannot accept it. She continued to blame me for being an absent girlfriend for the past two years. But the irony is, she didn’t break up with me over the past two years and she kept insisting that she didn’t betray me.

Earlier in the evening, she played john legend’so ‘all of me’ on the speaker. I told her to stop that song because I hates it now. She asked me why because she said I introduced it to her. The excuse I gave was that the guy in office kept playing it but the real reason was that she dedicated it to OW on her alter-ego fb profile.

Still grappling with the ill feelings of infidelity. Sigh.

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Seasons greetings

I walked for six long hours to get almost twenty presents. It’s amazing how my legs kept me going from shop to shop, floor after floor! Never did I feel the urge to just find a seat, except when I needed the loo.

My boo boo gave me the password to her phone over the weekend. I am elated because like how I read in the various infidelity posts on fb, the WS would willingly surrender access just to show that they hath nothing to hide and wants to move forward.

On the surface, I appear affectionate and patient. Deep down inside, bitterness still resides. I had expressed part of it last week when she got angry with me yet again. At least, she bothered to clarify whom was the person who contacted her. I hope we ll do well again.

Tonight she is abit edgy and I just blame it on the womanly menarche and my busyness in Christmas gift wrapping. She was also neglected as I had to finish my essay yesterday night.

The house is coming to shape. I am just waiting for it to be all mine. Our dream loft which is high up in the skies!!! Here is to many many good things ahead, for us. 2015 onwards, It can only get better! Hurrah.

Controller

Once again an emotional outburst last night. She felt that I was blaming her for my lack of dinner and yelled at me. Followed by sleeping in the hall and then throwing a hissy fit at 4am. Citing she can’t sleep and this is the second time in her own house. She also said she hates me to the core.

I was just giving my feedback on communication about meal arrangements, yet she went on all ballistic about it. Cannot handle any discussion ever.

I am always made to apologize even when I don’t feel the need to. Sobs. Such is life.