Happy Valentines Day To Those Of Us With Shattered Hearts

I was so busy wrapping the present and writing the card quietly in the dark with the torch from my iPhone that I forgot to take a photo of it.

I was so afraid to ask what is our (or rather her) plan that I waited for an opportunity on that morning.

I was so dejected after hearing that tone of disdain (yet again) coupled with ‘U mean dinner with you? I ll get my own’.

I was so reminded of last v-day delivery efforts that was once again unappreciated.

I was so sad when we sang those love songs at the karaoke last night and I was longing for just some affection and respect.

I was so determined to break up with her because I kept seeing this entire vicious cycle of hot and cold treatment being hurled at me, with varying intensity and duration.

I was so sorry for myself that I cried again today because she cannot answer when she will no longer be angry.

I was trying hard to love her so much that I can’t see that she loves me no more.

I was hers and I am mine now.

So Long Sociopath

To those of us with shattered hearts, the ones who have associated the word “love” with “fear”, “remorse”, “rejection” and “pain”. Us who fall short of a true smile most days because there is a silent disease that lays like a shadow over our every action, step and movement.

To those of us who know what it feels like to have our hearts broken like glass on a concrete floor, repaired with the glue of lies, put back together with false hope and then thrown carelessly to their demise again…

To those of us who fight daily with a darkness that is an epidemic to our health, sanity and self esteem, to all of us who know that loving that darkness can be confusing, addicting and life altering.

To those of us who feel love like a thousand razor blades to our souls as we bleed out all that…

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